It started out the same; the usual 'how are you's and the same magical smile that swept me away every time I saw him. It made me think, "He's something special, I feel it.' 

He wasn't much, he would say; I would say he can make something of himself if he'd stop doubting. 

David's hugs don't sell themselves short. You'd be lucky enough to receive a hug. I was one of the lucky ones. See, I had a few issues back then like seeing my parents constantly fight at home and being put down by a few 'friends' in church, which is very ironic because church-kids were taught to 'love thy neighbour'. Anyways, he'd see me get very down such as not fully participating in very heated discussions. He knew I loved conversations like that. You can say that I love him, I do. However David's not the touchy-feely type so I don't say a word other than 'thanks' that replaced tons of words I wished I would've said. Then again, we shouldn't think about the things we should've or would've. 

In any case, David would bring me into his hugs; an arm would go around my shoulders then he'd squeeze me a little as he coaxed me into his embrace. We were in high school then. He was a goofy, dedicated student whom sung too often for a normal person. 

No one knew what his next step would be after we all had the biggest shock of our lives: seeing the shy 16-year old boy up on stage on our television screens. Before he mysteriously took off, he had given me a nice warm hug. I accepted it; of course, I'd be an idiot to turn it down. I love him and his hugs very much. From time to time I would wonder if I was the last person he had hugged before venturing out to a new world in his life. Maybe I was. I didn't ask though. 

Throughout his entire stardom, I felt proud because I was right in believing that he was (and still is) something special. 

When he finally had time to actually call me up and that was the Fall of 2009, I was already a graduated student, he too probably was. I heard he went to prom with this Vietnamese girl called Fish or something; while I wasn't present for the silly formal, I was in my room typing away all my college applications. 

I was home whilst waiting for letters of acceptance or rejection, I would often think about his hugs and how they've comforted me over the years.  The thing about David's way of comforting is the fact that never said anything other than 'come here' or 'I'm sorry' (which was strange because it was never his fault) and he'd extend his arm out, that's when I come in. I never cried, if you think about it long enough. My parents have issues with one another and having them tell me that their problems were the least of mine didn't help much. 

I've learned to forget it, actually but that doesn't mean it didn't plague my mind at all. 

In short, I found comfort in David through his small gestures. When my chin was resting on his shoulder, sometimes I'd mouth 'I love you' to him. I still wonder whether he had felt my jaws going up and down awkwardly since he never asked. 

I decided that it was time David and I rekindled our friendship over a meal. He had gotten slightly chubbier than I last saw him. He talked about how great touring, singing, recording and writing were. I was thrilled to hear that he was living out his dream. Somehow I wonder if he liked being that busy. Without asking he said, "But the schedules are very hectic and... They confuse me sometimes." He shook his head. 

Then he directed the topic to me. I went about my college applications and what my future will consist of. He nodded constantly, saying how great that sounded and whatnot. He hadn't changed a bit. After the meal, he hugged me. This time without gesturing me into his grasp. I wrapped my arms around his stocky build and said, "I missed you like crazy. I hope you do well."

He laughed, like the usual. When I said I missed him, I really mean I missed him. I missed how he threw his head back and howled with bashful laughter. Especially the way his eyes squinted whenever he giggled. 

That was, again, the last time I saw him in 2009. 

It left me wondering if I will live my live continuously without David popping up by my side every now and then rather to have him ghost in and out in the obscure chapters in my life. I would be lying if I said I'd rather have him be completely absent from my life. 

In 2010, he got more time in Utah. I got more time in college just two states away. Also, he doesn't know. I was afraid to update him with my life. He rarely checks into Facebook to play FarmVille anymore; what more can I say about reading my updates?  

He was off my mind then when I was majoring in Law. I was going to be in college for about seven consecutive years and this was what I've chosen to go with. David, frankly, is the least of my worries. My parents decided to call it quits on their marriage. So they divorced five months after David started texting me again. I'm glad they split. They were both too unhappy with each other. While that was going on, I had an attachment at the courthouse to fill up my sociology assignment. I had to watch real life court cases in session as my phone vibrated the hours away and all the messages were, of course, from David. Undoubtedly, I promised him I would fly back real soon to get together with him again but I didn't. Soon was an understatement. 

Later in the year, David started flying to the state I was in. I didn't make the effort to find him for I was swamped with more attachments to law firms. He probably knew how busy I was and I knew how busy he was too. So we both stayed busy until I bumped into him at a doughnut store on a Tuesday. 

He hugged me, as usual, but tighter than I remembered. I'm not sure if I was me or him that the hug was longer than normal. For a moment, I did miss him. The realization of my withdrawals of David had delayed themselves so they decided to rush through my brain rapidly the moment he started talking to me. This wasn't relief at all, this was guilt. Even though I had the excuse for not trying to hang out with him, I still felt bad. David had always been there for me and that was a selfish move to not repay him all the hours we had spent together. 

"I see you're a very busy lawyer in-the-making!" he chirped. I laughed a little and nodded. 

After that I apologized for being too busy to even text him a chunk of text over the phone. He shrugged it off, saying it was no big deal. Lately he had been having more free time around in Utah since he had left his record label. It was 2011 then. He said the label was very... assertive and not willing to respect him as a singer and song-writer. After we caught up, he hugged me with one arm once more before leaving. 

"I miss you, we need more time together," he smiled at me. My heart cracked just a tad bit. 

Since that day, I made a commitment to myself to constantly remember that David is out there, waiting for me to ask if he would like to hang out. So every semester break, I'd pack up my work and fly over to Utah just to hang out with him for the week. 

His hugs were more now. One day I asked him what's with all the hugs, he said, "I think it's a habit. I've always been getting hugs from my fans and I would hug them back. I don't know, but I guess it's just that I missed you too much."

I rested my cheek on his shoulder once more, pondering over his words. I was prepared to live a life of grey when I started taking up Law as a career path. I learned that sadness took in all kinds of forms. However, in my book, this one was the one that put me into depression more. 

As I was musing over my life choices, I felt another arm going around my lower torso. 

He was giving me a two-armed hug for the first time in years. He never gave two-armed hugs, for all I know. 

I pushed my worries aside then brought myself closer to him. It was that comfort again with something a little different. Warmth brewed in my stomach and I wanted to see him more often from then and there. 

The more we saw each other, the longer and tighter the hugs get together, with the less words he said. 

In late winter of 2011, in Salt Lake City, a crying David bore himself to me in the sea of spotlights and on a stage in front of a rejoicing crowd. 

"I've chosen to serve." 

The four simple words that got the entire building shaking with emotion as his face faltered at the sight of the reactions. 

Back home after the emotional night, David came into the room I was staying in at 3 in the morning. I lived quite a distance from his home so I thought this would be urgent rather than ringing me up on my phone. 

He invited himself in before I could. He spent the ungodly hours pacing around the floor, muttering while I cuddled myself with my blankets. The radiator buzzed monotonously. 

"I'm doing the right thing, right?" he bit his index finger and his other hand fiddled with the hem of his jacket. 

"Yes, now go home," I said. 

He stopped pacing around on the carpeted floor then sat next to me on my bed. David looked straight into my eyes. In a few moments, I was drenched in David's pool of hazel eyes. Veins of red appeared in the little corners of his eyes. I wasn't worried for him because he was more worried about himself making a decision he still had mixed feelings about. 

"The reason why I wanted to hang out with you more is to salvage the time I had left with you and my family. I don't want to be in the middle of my mission suddenly regretting for all the time I could've spent with you and my family. I wouldn't know what I'd do with myself if that happened." He breathed in a mouthful of air. 

I pulled myself toward him, sighing. David had a strong and good heart. He corralled me slowly with his thick arms. I felt drowsy nevertheless he was in trouble and I didn't want to make him feel left out. 

I felt him tighten his grip, letting me feel the scent of ginger through his shirt.

"I love you."

I didn't say anything except for stroking his back slowly until my vision blurred. 

That was the last time I received a hug from him in two years.